Spring and Sorrow

I am both comforted and assailed 
by new waves of grief, when
following the rhythms you taught me. 
My hands warming the cool dirt
Grit working under my nails
Seeds pressed into their hopeful beginings

And I wish I could call you

Share my joy of spring

Joy you danced to

The only dance you knew

The dance of the garden

Of growth and renewal

It seems cruel

The season of new life

Being my greatest reminder of you. 

Now you are dead

Burried beneath

The soil you loved

Daffodils and crocus 

Dancing above. 

“Why are you crying?” 

My littlest has found me crying 

in our garden. 

Because gardening reminds me of Grandma. 

“Why do you do it? 

If it makes you sad?”

Because she loved it. 

And I like it. 

I like to grow yummy food

And plant in the dirt with my babies. 

Because it reminds me of you. 

And how you taught me 

To grow in the dirt 

And how healing each plot

“The garden is my therapy” 

You often remarked. 

I don't want to forget.